We tend to create walls, barriers, beliefs, and other self-protection patterns to ensure that we will not be hurt again. And we fail and we wrap ourselves up in these false protections even more tightly until nothing can get in and nothing can get out. A subtle form of narcissism takes hold in the deepest part of the soul – take care of me, protect me, and don’t let anyone else in. Vulnerability becomes a concept that threatens the self. The appetite for self-protection consumes any desire for God, for community, and for connection.
Negative life experiences create a black-and-white/all-or-nothing mind-set in us. It’s either: God is good, people can be trusted, I am safe (but we don’t choose this worldview). Or: the world is a dangerous place, people are a threat to me, God isn’t there to protect me, no one can keep me safe, I have to fend for myself. This worldview creates false perceptions about life: no one can ever be trusted, God doesn’t care, I’ll use my own (dysfunctional) tools to keep myself safe.
We’re all born with the capacity to perceive. When something bad happens to cause distrust, then a person can form a certain belief that isn’t necessarily correct. This may cause a perception to form that says, bad will always happen in that situation. The lecture example of the police officer showed an example of thinking the worst case. This happened from life experience of seeing many burglaries.
When a bad thing such as abuse happens, the person will feel pain. They will want relief. Most likely there was no one to protect them in the pain, so they feel alone and vulnerable. They feel like it’s up to them to protect themselves. These lies are often projected on key people in their lives as well as God.
When bad things that happen to people. They believe that there’s is no one who can protect them, and they have to look out for themselves. If there is a God, he is not trustworthy and dependable to protect them either. This is a false perception!
When bad things happened to people, they might feel incompetence, powerless as they could not avoid or prevent these incidents. People have the capacity to think, they would try to make sense of things out of their own experiences and formed a conclusion of why bad things happened. This process allowed them to cope with what had happened and the perceived consequences would also allow them to determine what could be done in the future. Hence, providing a false sense of being in control.
When a bad thing happens to someone they realize that the world is a dangerous place. They desire to be protected but do not have anyone to protect them in the way they would like. Instead of being defensless to the world they decide to blame themselves. They take their life around them and say, “I will make my life work”
The problem begins with the fact that our ability to perceive has been corrupted. When something bad happens to a person, they see it from human perspective. They look at what has taken place and based on what they observe, they draw a conclusion or conclusions about what they have observed. They form a belief based on the circumstances they observed. From this belief that has been formed, the person consequently feels and behaves in certain ways based on the belief that they have formed. Because our perceptions are corrupt we are prone from birth (because of our fallen nature since Adam), to have false perceptions about life. We believe that God is not good and trustworthy and we thus need to take care of ourselves.
An example might be the young teenager who is made fun of because of some physical feature of their body. Instead of concluding that the this is a mean thing that has been wrongfully said, the teen forms the belief that there is something wrong with them and that others could also hurt them in this same way. They may feel defective, self conscious and even wonder if they can be loved just the way they are. The consequence is that once this belief is formed, from that time forward this person will feel and behave in ways based on this belief. They are now less trusting and more guarded moving forward in life. Not address it could affect the way they live life for a long time.
Since we live in a fallen world we will always experience “bad things” and this will continue until we reach heaven (as believers). And since we are also corrupted image-bearers of God, we don’t have the capacity to always perceive our circumstances as the way God views them. If “bad things” happen to fallen image-bearers who don’t receive life how He does, then we are left to view and interpret our circumstances with our own limited ability. When we rely on or trust our limited ability to perceive, we subsequently shape our perceptions in a way that will not only NOT get our crucial longings met but will never find the joy that God has to offer when we surrender our will to His.
When something hard and bad happens (when we are sinned against) – especially as children, false perceptions form. The enemy (who is the accuser and liar) will tell us we are at fault, the world is not safe and God is not good. If we believe these lies and do not receive and give forgiveness, we can form the perception that we must protect ourselves. This keeps us from seeking, knowing, and loving God.
It’s those ABCs. They try to make sense of the issue and create some self-protection. In that, they end up actually distancing themselves further from the source of light and life. Only in seeing the truths of God can we be able to see ourselves as we are created in God’s image.
The safe niche of their “pre-bad things” world is damaged. ‘New data’ is collected and processed from the bad things, which may formulate into erroneous perception and wrong conclusion.
To preserve and protect self from further harm and hurts, a fortified self is constructed to control – which is often a bad self-image. This is opposed to being made in the image of God.
Corrupted perceptions results in bad self-image (belief), that may leads to emotions and behaviors that are naturally embedded rebellion towards God. The downward spiral continues further, as our corrupted emotions and behaviors corrupts our capacity to perceive in the light of God’s redeeming truth.
When bad things happen to people it shapes a false perception about life. We tend to ask the question “Where is God when this evil happened to me.” We form the opinion, often at a young age, that the world is not safe, and no one is looking out for us, so we need to take care of ourselves and be in control of our world. This creates a hardness in us and a defensive lens through which we view life. We tend to be suspicious of everything and everyone. Often people who have been deeply wounded will relate out of a poor self image because they tend to want to blame themselves for bad things happening, as a form of control.
Bad things happening in people’s lives results in a mistrust of other people and,more importantly of God. the result is an attempt to protect themselves.They develop a poor self image andblamethemselves for the bad happenings
When bad thing happen to people they form a belief about life, people or situations based on their perceptions about the bad event that happened to them and they react to life, people and situations based on their negative or ill-formed perception. That is why so many people do not turn their chairs toward one another because of false perceptions based on bad events that have happened to people in the past. So much mistrust and hatred exists because of false perceptions about all people of a certain race based on a bad experience from some people that have influenced the beliefs of many in a negative way.