when I listen now to some one,, i listen for the how to make it better and then that’s my key,
to ask did he/she ask some one to walk down the path with them ?
most of the time the answer is no, i ask do you want some one? sometimes yes, or maybe not,,
this where I speak of Jesus
Knowing and believing depending on my own competence will change the way I approach SoulCare as I become more dependent upon the Lord Jesus Christ to guide me in caring for one of His elect. It will serve as a reminder to seek His face in prayer before, during, and after coming face to face with someone who has a concern. Releasing the pressure of having to make SoulCare happen without consulting the Master is comparable to approaching the care of another ill-equipped for a task that requires more than speculation of what the true goal is. God knows how each individual is made and what is required for them to be made whole.
I have worn the hat of Ms Fix it for so long and it was not until last week that I realized I was out of my league. I am learning to let God be God. He has the All power, not my will but His be done. RELIEF!!!! When providing soul care I will seek God first, encourage an appetite and experience with God.
It will lessen my tendency to want to “fix the person.” This is a major problem for me. I want to be able to provide an answer and its possible that I often miss being led by the Holy Spirit. This would relieve the tendency to be judgmental, antagonizing the person you want to help. It would open the door to more meaningful conversation between me and the individual and my flesh would not get the glory, God would.
Knowing and believing that I’m “out of my league” and “giving up depending on my own competence” actually gives me a sense of relief and peace. As a result, I am able to point them to Jesus who knows them all and knows what each individual needs. It sure does take the pressure off of me and places it where it belongs. I don’t have to have all the answers. I just need to be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit as He guides them into maturity.
Realizing that I can not fixed people no matter the circumstances and only God can heal their inner problems, takes the pressure off of my shoulders knowing its not soley up to me to solve their problems and fear of failure is unnessesary. Trusting that He loves his people more that I can ever love them, motivates me to share that only thing I have to give and that is my testimony of his love for me in my own life and shares his love with them. It opens up a door in their heart where the possibilities are endless. All things are possible through God who gives me strength.
It takes of the pressure as I become God-reliant.
There is comfort knowing the Holy Spirit is in control as He is the greatest counsellor.
God is the good Father and the person whom am providing soul care to, is in excellent hands once he/she taps into God’s presence, love & care.
Through Jesus, I can be a bridge for person to develop an appetite for God. In this way, I know my place.
I plant a seed & offer a direction. Then God takes over to uproot, cleanse, plant & nurture the person.
Knowing within myself that I don’t have the answers. this person is looking for, my only choice is to point them to God through Jesus Christ.
I don’t have to ‘make it happen.’ I don’t have to manufacture my own experience of God or someone else in a conversation. I can learn it and share what is in me with them. We can be both journey together and allow the Holy Spirit to form a great desire for God than anything or anyone else. It can begin to re-write our story into the story of Jesus. It’s really not in my power, but in God’s.
Knowing and believing that I can give up depending on my own competence will change the way I approach Soul Care in that my dependence is totally on God. I don’t have to worry about my failure in providing soul care to someone because I know that anything I provide in my own efforts is far inferior to what God may provide. Whatever God does in a person’s life will be far superior to what I may try to suggest to “fix” a person’s problem. I cannot be competent in the many problems that arise in people’s lives. Relying on God’s competence will set me free from pressures that I have to make something happen for a person. My Soul Care approach will be totally dependent on God’s far superior abilities to help a person. My approach will be to help someone to seek after God and to help them to long for God’s presence and desires. Then a person’s difficult problem or situation can become secondary to the person’s desire to know God more intimately. To know that Jesus’ spiritual power is coming out of me in order to benefit the person I am trying to provide soul care to is incredibly compelling. God’s visions will always be far greater than my limited visions developed in my own competence.
There will be dependence on the Spirit and a release from the fear of not knowing specific techniques. I will be free to listen, to know my friend, to hear what God is doing in me and in him. If I don’t have to be the answer, if I don’t have to fix anything, I am more likely to have desire for God stirred up in me and in my friend. God, as the moving force in our relationship, can use my friend’s problem and my inadequacy to work his grace.
It’s comforting to know you are not doing it on your own. In fact, the key actor here is the Holy Spirit, not you as a Soul Carer. It’s also likely to protect us from making bad mistakes – assuming that my knowledge, skills and experience are error-free – which can lead to hurting other people and (yourself) walking away wounded.
Knowing and adopting the vision and the goal of soul care will assist me to a)realize that only the indwelling Holy Spirit can guide the person to maturity, only the Holy Spirit will be able to to assist them to to nourish an appetite for Christ that is stronger than all of their other appetites. B)My prayers for the saved person and myself will be for us to obey God and leave all the consequences to him, Exodus 19:5. The pressure to see the situation solved according to me or according to my friend’s wishes, will dissipate as my appetite for a stronger relationship with God materializes. I will relax and leave the responsibility for the best out come to El Elyon / The Most High God. I will approach Soul Care by putting my absolute faith and trust in God, He is El Shaddai/ The All-Sufficient one.
Instead of depending on my own intelligence and ability, I am free to depend on the Holy Spirit to guide me into helping the person who has a situation.
Knowing that I am out of my league would cause me to completely depend on the Holy Spirit to work through me.
This relieves me of the pressure to find formulas, feel urged to find a way or a strategy, and instead allows me to understand that I will just be a companion to the patient and the Lord will do the job for him.
I believe it will help me to have confidence that I do not have to have all the answers. I do not need to be the hero or the fixer of the story because Jesus is already the hero. Jesus, God and the power of the Holy Spirit have given that person everything they need. I just need to listen in order that they are heard and point them to the one who is and was and shall be. Experiencing Christ is their deepest soul need all else is a temporary fix. I will say that there are caveats of safety in some situations that do need immediate action.
Knowing that you are out of your league and unable to depend on your competence in providing SoulCare, will strengthen your faith and trust in Godly wisdom, understanding, and knowledge. You will essentially surrender yours and rely on God’s wisdom, understanding, and knowledge.
Dependence of the Holy Spirit to minister instead of me relying on my own understanding.
I wonder if people rebel from the rules of the church when Christians are ministering to feel more comfortable instead of striving for Gods vision the the persons life
When I’ve tried to fix other’s problems, it has been overwhelming at times. Now I understand why and that my vision needs to shift. This shift will take the weight off of me. Putting the focus on my friend having an appetite for Christ allows the Spirit to both lead and work through me.
I Desire to Approach SoulCare in The Manner That Jesus Approached SoulCare with The Woman at The Well.To Invest The Soul and Spiritual Life of Jesus Into The Life of Another.To Allow Others to Have That Driving Thirst for The Righteousness of Christ Jesus;to havie a Deep Hunger for The Appetite for Christ Jesus.
We have become comfortable where we are in life. We no longer push ourselves, or pick yourself back up after you have fallen down. In today’s world, there are so many clicks, that we become dormant where we are. My all time favorite scripture is Mark 9:23 – Jesus said to the father, “Why did you say ‘if you can’? All things are possible for the one who believes.” Everybody I feel is scared of failing. If we only knew the plans he has for us Jerm. 29:11. We are told to dream and ask our father for things that are out of our reach but not his. Prepare your fields for rain is coming. If you read the word, you will find out that our father wants to give us our hearts desires. In order to do that, we have to ask for things we know we can’t accomplish on our own.
It changes everything because possibilities become limitless. I see my role differently. Instead of being the resource I’m the conduit to the Resource! I commit to redirecting them to the only one that will satisfy.
I will not take responses personally. I will rely on the Holy Spirit to work the changes in a person’s heart, mind, and behavior. I will see myself as a vessel only, not the agent of change.
First, I am very challenged within myself to move towards an all consuming appetite for God at the expense of all else and then to experience that in the ebbs and flows of everyday life. In total transparency, I am getting a glimpse of perhaps some lack of faith/doubt that part of me believes that this is even possible in a sustained way. I am now asking again, afresh and anew, for this in my own life and for God to help me have this kind of vision for others that God has placed on my path.
This vision / goal Dr. Crabb states will change the way I approach SoulCare in the form of freedom! Freedom to allow the Holy Spirit to do what only He can. Freedom that allows me to not have to try to fix what is the “problem.” Freedom to only be a conduit of the Spirit who will move and do and be! It is a very liberating approach to providing care for individuals in their struggles.
As I listened to Dr. Crabb, I realized this is something I’ve been longing for in my own life for a long time now. I also realized, I will not be able to help other pursue this goal if I haven’t pursued it myself and have been successful at it. I have been pursuing this goal for awhile now but hadn’t put it in terms of soul care. For me it was trying to reach the p!ace where nothing in my life is more important than my relationship with God. I’ve read the book Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence and have longed for this kind of intimacy with God. I’ve tried to remember that when I’m on my deathbed the only thing that will matter is my relationship with Christ and all the earthly things that I’ve worried about will be meaningless when I’m making the transition from physical death to eternal life. This year, I’m turning 70 and this goal of soul care for myself is becoming more and more important to me. I also run a group called Sister Chix which is a group for women who have lost their husbands through death or divorce. Our goal is to help women look to God for all their needs rather than moving too quickly into a relationship just to avoid lonliness. Understanding Soul Care for myself and for them will be exactly what we all need to move forward. I look forward to finishing this class and applying what I learn to myself and my Sister Chix group.
As I become more aware of my own inadequacies, it will cause me to lean more on God’s grace and Spirit to give me insight. I am learning that it’s not about what I have to say, but about what God does inside the other person as I listen as they tell their story and become aware of self as they get it out of themselves.
It’s human nature that we want to help and offer solutions. Also for the other parties, living in a fast pace world, they may want quick fixes too. This is a good reminder for both sides to resist the temptation of “fix and forget”; to move beyond the surface and seek after God’s guidance and will.
How do you arouse in someone an appetite for God that exceeds all other appetites? Only God can. Yet, this is the root fix to all problems! Now i can see pass their current problems, and focus on something much bigger and in the process, God will take care of their problems. This surely is a new way for me to look at things. I too must first experience this for myself, an appetite for God above all else!
I must ask Christ for an appetite for Him so that I can do Soul Care from that perspective. Feeling like I must “fix” the person that has expressed a need or problem is absolutely the wrong approach. I am unable to do so. I must trust in the Holy Spirit living within me to enable me to do the work of reaching out in love. I believe I must first be quiet and listen carefully to my friend all the while depending on the Spirit to open my friend’s heart to change. I like Dr. Crabb’s approach of not depending on my own competence because I am definitely “out of my league”. It takes the Holy Spirit working through the Word of God to speak to the person’s heart.
For me it alleviates the need to get it right; to say the right thing, or to fear saying the wrong thing. The pressure is off. It then puts me in a place of humility to yield my will to HIs will, as I recognize my need for HIm. I would hope then that my approach is not a knee-jerk reaction to what someone says, that it is not me trying to figure it all out, but my soul will seek Him and join Him and the person on the journey that is already taking place. Knowing this will help me seek Him and stay attuned to Him and the spirit. The more I know God the more I will see the things inside of me that may block this process from happening. The more I am aware of the struggles I have, my sinful nature, and become convicted and confess, God and His spirit will enter my soul in a powerful way and release what is most alive in me! The more I see Him the better I see myself and the better I see myself the more I can see him. This process of becoming aware of what is most alive in me will grow my thirst for HIm and the result will be my soul pouring out into others.
I believe that when people happen to mention something to another they want to be listened to. It is important to ask how you can help them get to where they want to be. A small goal perhaps, but not providing advice unless they ask for it. We have to trust in others to provide wisdom to our lives which is why having a mentor who has studied the bible and practices such principles is helpful. It is difficult to ask others for help because our society has expressed that such action is expressing weakness, which in fact is the opposite. It takes courage for one to recognize that a change needs to be made. Having another person who can guide or even just be available can encourage the individual to think through the options and path they may want to take moving forward. An individual has to recognize he or she has a problem, and submit themselves to Christ. Repenting of sin, reading God’s Word, being discipled and encouraged to help us through our journeys in this life.
there are those who want to jump in and apply a “quick fix” to some ones problems and they do more harm than help. in most cases it is very hard to change anything unless we first change the way we think. if we go on a journey with the person or friend to whom we are mentoring to, we can feel in some manner what they may be going through and try to have them look at scripture along in the journey to let them see what God has to offer in their quest for healing and how they can use that to put Gods words in place of their problems.
I am over 60 , I can look back at issues that I had in my youth growing up that may help others and it may be possible to win a soul for Christ.
Knowing we are above our expertise and ability causes us to depend on God and to seek His face for help.
As Dr Crabb states, so many of us want to jump right to thinking of ways to “fix” the other person or provide helpful answers to their problems. When you consider that the goal is to stir a passion in someone else for God that is greater than all other desires and reduces them to desires rather than demands, it becomes obvious that only God can do that. It changes how I would view my role in coming along side someone from trying to come up with quick advice to beginning to envision what God might want to do in this person’s life. I then no longer have the pressure to come up with quick fixes but to view myself as a facilitator in administering God’s grace.
This really was something I needed to hear. We usually tend to want to help others because we feel as if we have to use all of our strength and energy to give them all the right answers to fix them. However, it’s not about fixing them Dr. Crabb stated. It’s about actually looking at the vision and focusing our eyes on the one that already knows how to not fix someone but heal their actual souls. I love this!
It actually gives me more confidence because I know that God is in control and I don’t have to find the strength or right words on my own. The stronger my appetite for God is, the more effective I will be in approaching SoulCare.
This approach takes a lot of pressure off of me to “fix” someone. My main processes is to help them find and develop a love and thirst and desire for God that this becomes their focus. God can then begin the transformation in their life. I cannot create that change. I can come alongside them and walk the journey with them and point them constantly towards Christ.
Knowing that dependent on the Holy Spirit can only solve the problem
If I don’t need to feel pressure to help or fix, but primarily join another person where they are, it takes pressure off me. Knowing I am too little to have the answers puts me in a position where I am in need of God’s working on another’s behalf. If the vision I have is God’s vision, He loves to show Himself strong!
Knowing this will focus on Christ and the gospel and not ways to solve someone’s problems
knowing and believing this will bring you to the end of yourself. it is not in us to do this, in of ourselves, but only by the spirit. striving to make it work will only end in defeat. but having an openness that invites the spirit to join and wait for that, will you succeed.
I will prayerfully seek the Lords wisdom and discernment. The realization that it isn’t about me takes the pressure off of me, because it’s about bringing the person to God’s throne room to glorify Him…
we can change nothing we cannot control our comes but the more people lean on us the more we want to control outcomes
we need to have the faith as we have burdens placed on us to 1. take the whole issue and leave it in the throne room of the Lord
to absolute believe we can offer nothing God can offer everything the only one who can is God as i cast my anxieties because he cares for me i would encourage grief in my friend with prayer to be cast on God
I currently work as a Lay Counselor for a Christian Counseling Center, and I find that what I am really doing there is soul care. I come alongside them, listen and ask questions, and am curious about their lives. When I began, I was very scared, because I figured I needed to know all of the answers. But in reality, I just come every week and pray that the Holy Spirit will lead me. What’s amazing is that, many times, I listen for 90% of the session, and for the bit that I do speak, it isn’t some kind of personal intellect that is given; I find that the Spirit moves in wisdom and truth, and I have the words for them that I couldn’t come up with on my own. In fact, sometimes I think… “man, that was good” and I want to write it down. Ha! But when I began to realize that all I have to offer is relationship and the work of the Spirit, my job became SO much more easy. The pressure is off! And the results are so much better than when I used to try to give people advice of my own.
Knowing that you are out of your league requires dependency on something greater that yourself. We as providers, get to lay the heavy burdens down, knowing that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are doing all of the work. We truly get to be co-labors asking for wisdom and discernment. It takes away the overwhelming responsibility that sometimes we tend to hold onto.
The pressure is off. It is up to Father, Son and Spirit to do the internal work. I cannot do this – He can. I am also grateful to have experienced these truths personally as I have sought more of God and in doing so through others who have been influenced by Dr. Crabb’s Work and wisdom I have incorporated these passionate positions first hand. My own experience in counseling others and listening to them has been positively confirmed as they have shared the impact they have experienced from out encounters together. As I learned early on, this is not about ‘sin management.’ It is about becoming more like Jesus.
I can’t transform people. I can’t take away the fear of death from an elderly. Only God is able. As I listened to this lecture, I am reminded of the woman at the well – Jesus’ took time to arouse the woman’s appetite for Christ, and provoke a consuming passion for Christ that she forgot ‘her shame and her fear.’ This is the transforming power of God that is not achievable by man. We point others to HIM – who is able. It is a release from unwanted expectations from self or others, and it keeps us away from the temptation of manipulation.
Completely in one word! The relief of handing it over to God for Him to take control, knowing its nothing to do with me will be immense. My vision I try and keep in my head for difficult things I pray for is …Ive put the problem to God, Ive clicked the electric shutter that separates me from the problem and left it inside the room with God. He will solve it if it is His will….does that apply to listening to our friends? I think so…..
Instead of focusing on giving immediate fixes and providing solutions which only address the exterior world, I should approach SoulCare more prayerfully. And leave room for the Holy Spirit to use the person’s problems to change his interior world to be more like Jesus. In order to be a more effective vessel, I need to be more Christ centred myself.
Adopting this vision/goal will help me realise that it is not up to me but the Spirit of God to bring about the change that He desires in that person. I am just a vessel in the hands of God. The change of appetite for God in the soul of that person will be brought about by God Himself (the spirit of God).
When we recognize that we are out of our league, then it is not us who needs to perform. We are simply the carrier of what Christ gives to us. In essence, we move over and Christ is the one who is doing the work. We are simply taking our orders from him. Believing that our main goal is to stir an appetite for Christ will free us to listen well, and to not advise.
My approach will be reliant on the spirits wisdom and guidance and will allow me to feel/share with the person without putting pressure on him/her
to change. It gives me a higher vision for that person ,and a confidence that this is achievable
It takes the pressure off knowing that I don’t have to not can I fix the problem or situation. It leaves me dependent on the Holy Spirit and not on myself. It forces me to recognize my own self-obsession.
As I realized my approach to any friends/colleagues that come and share their burden to me, I have the longing to see their lives be transformed to a better state. But it seems that this is a good but limited view, that comes from my own imagination of what a better condition will look like.
By knowing that the goal is not just to help him/her to attain a better life situation, but to see their longing for God grows to push away other longing/passion, I will be put into a place where I am out of my league. Such goal is so spiritual and so deep that I cannot bring that into reality without the Holy Spirit’s magic freely touch ones’ lives through me.
I will approach SoulCare differently knowing that I am not applying a formula, but allowing God to supernaturally use me in His sanctifying work in the person’s life. I need to adopt His vision for the person’s life. This makes me more humble and more dependent on Him for His grace and direction in every conversation.