I was attracted by the topics of the first course in SoulCare and hence taking it. Instead of learning what to do, I feel that I am going trough a process of restoration in examining myself, my own brokenness and areas that require God’s love and grace to fill.
Despite knowing all that I’ve learned through this SoulCare course, I feel like I’m finally just starting to really feel this within my soul. Right now, I feel so caught up in wanting to fix the things that are wrong… a lot of that involves prayer and constantly going to God and leaning on Him for the victory. But ultimately I know that I’m making most of my prayer life about what I want, and not just about praising and glorifying HIM. It’s not wrong to ask for the second things, but I don’t want the majority of my relationship with Him to be about me asking for things that will comfort me in this world.
To the extent I slow down, listen to the Spirit by spending time with Him in the Word, am involver with others in relationships of depth…then it is happening to some degree. It could always be more…and hopefully it will be in the days ahead. Ironically, I have found since I retired from the Church as Pastor that it is happening more…as Pastor I fell too often into the trap of “running the church” instead of spirtually directing people.
Thanks to Dr. Crabb and my experience with him and his colleagues at the School of Spiritual Direction and Next Step, this revolution has been advancing in my life. First learning this truth and realizing how I was not living in God’s larger story but trying to make my own smaller story work caused a tremendous paradigm shift. Since then, God has been training me in trusting Him, in depending upon Him and in living in greater union with Him. The last two years during all the COVID restrictions have been very difficult personally and professionally but very rich in developing a deeper relationship with God, our Heavenly Father.
This toughest week where unexpected pre-mature death of a loved one drew me to desire more of God and see His work among us, than fixing our grief. God is a good, good Father who graciously was present with us, and turning our mourning to a blessed assurance of a better hope in him. One truth I have learnt, often times we are the ones who stand in the way between the person in need and Him. We talk too much, do too much in trying to ‘ease’ the situation, but when the space is given to the person in need and God – we witness a deep healing, a deep comfort than only He can do it! All glory to Him!
It is occurring more and more. My desire to fix my problems is decreasing as I am realizing my greater desires to be home in Christ.
It is definitely occurring in my life-that’s why I’m taking this class. I work in full time ministry and also want this to become a reality in ministry. The longer I walk with the Lord, the more I see that knowing him deeply is more important and more satisfying than fixing myself or my my life.
The revolution is occurring in my life by God’s promptings are to look inward for the answers.