Give examples of unwholesome words you’ve heard from Christian friends when you were in pain. Give examples of unwholesome words you’ve uttered.

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    • #95332821
      Roy
      Participant

      It will get better in time. Time heals. He’s in a better place. You shouldn’t feel that way. Premature empathy that short circuits the conversation. Offering a solution rather than being curious. Premature reassurance that everything will be fine, dont worry about it. Premature prayer without first asking questions or really understanding what is going on with the person . I’ve done several of these myself and also changed the subject because I did not want to get involved.

    • #95332160
      Jennifer
      Participant

      I’m sure I’ve said many of the common ones in the past, such as “he’s in a better place” or “God needed him more than you” or I also just remember always trying to say something comforting and to have a lot of words to say when something went wrong. I’m sure I’m still quite imperfect in this area, but I’m glad I learned a few years back to stop trying to say the “right thing”.

      For me, the most hurtful responses are either “at least you aren’t _____”. Like however bad my situation is, they compare it to something worse. Or, when I share something from my perspective, and people try to spin it to fit their worldview.

    • #95295141
      Geraldine
      Participant

      Unwholesome words – “band-aid” words of encouragement that leads to nowhere.
      Me – analyze and explain the situation, when what the person need is to tell his story.

    • #95285384
      Chantra
      Participant

      I think the thing that I have heard the most that Christians and I have said that doesn’t make anyone feel better is , “The Lord works in mysterious ways” and all things work together for the good of those that love the Lord. When you have just lost a loved one, it hurts and being told that the death of your loved one, loss of your job, divorce or assault is going to be worked our for your good, if you love the Lord, leaves you feeling numb, not better.

    • #93997
      Our Daily Bread
      Keymaster
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