My life looked good while I was totally in the world. Success was always my goal and I spent my time working in business for this. It looked good to my friends but it was hiding a heart of evil as I mistreated my family.
I have come into contact with something tat looks good but has a heart of evil, within my job where everything I did was awarded and credited to another rather than to me. It resulted in me not trusting in people and closing myself from others around me. As a result of this I ended up thinking people always had it out for me and couldn’t ever be trusted.
Much of my experience in early life with church was exactly this, judgemental hypocrites, and it turned me away from religion for a long time. It was not until 30 years later that I was influenced by someone who’s heart match his outwardly actions.
I have to say, that I have experienced evil hearts on all different levels. In fact, ( at my job) as I’m writing this, I am surrounded by those that I am convinced are ate up with wickedness. They can appear to be so kind and sincere… but it doesn’t take long till the venom is spewing out of their mouths. In fact at times it’s so bad, you can feel and see it manifesting in their speech and on their faces. I pray here regularly as I work. I pray for them, and there are times I pray against the evil within them. For and against. It affects me daily in some form or another. I will continue to pray, in hopes that later I will be affected by seeing the love of Christ in them. I witness as much as I can to these, I am constantly seizing the opportunities that God gives me to witness to them. I have to pray for myself to have strength and the will to persevere amongst them. I see these people affecting others with their brutal attacks , and it’s so hurtful to witness.
All sin can look good if it will satisfy selfish desires. Sometimes you feel like you “can handle it” but find out later that it takes you on a path you can’t handle. I think I could look back at my years in college and trying to behave in a way to feel accepted by people. I would do something that I thought wouldn’t hurt me, I could handle it. But it made me feel terrible and it made me look bad to other people that were looking up to me. It seemed okay initially, but afterward, I felt that I had let people down, and that made me see things differently. It was a time when I was most receptive to Christian friends that shared Jesus with me. While I didn’t seek Jesus then, I remembered their words later when I did put my heart in Jesus’ hands.