Fear, risk, maybe I’ll have to reveal more of myself.
Fear that I’ll get stuck by being too curious and I’ll be revealed as a fraud.
Risk that this requires me to be more open than I’ve ever been before by the prompting of the Holy Spirit.
Moving towards a person’s interior world still seems like a risk. Understanding the importance of asking personal questions makes much more sense than ever before. Really desiring to know someone’s journey in life means taking time with that person and really desiring for them to share their story. Learning how to dig deeper in a relationship will help me be confident to accomplish this task.
Assumptions keep me from being more curious about another person’s reality. I am quick to jump to conclusions and make superficial judgements. I think I know what they are all about, I think I understand their struggle, and I certainly have a solution for all their problems. There’s an element of arrogance and blind confidence that fails to acknowledge the complexity of another’s journeying reality. It is also the result of failing to recognise someone as an image-bearer whose life is precious to God, a life in which the Holy Spirity has always been at work.
I can become very task oriented and forget to be a responder instead of a reactor. I want to learn more about how to be respectfully curious about others in a way that is not invasive but inviting.
I am curious but I don’t know what to ask? I can’t think of the right question. I’m awkward. There are also times, when people share but I’m too busy or preoccupied with my own work or issues to be curious.
To name a few, commitment to spending the time to journey down an unknown path, anxiety of not being able to say the right thing and how to continue the conversation properly. Bottom line is I am putting my own needs above loving and caring for others.
I’m afraid too often I dont really want to know because I fear I wont know what to say. Sometimes I’m selfishly preoccupied with my own life and dont take the time to really ask questions and really listen. I might be too busy telling my own stories. And sometimes I might just think I’m too busy to take the time it would take to really get into something deeper with them.
Opportunities and time and that’s my excuse. Opportunities that I do not seek; like sharing a cup of coffee with someone. Time restraints that are forced upon in given circumstances.
Much of the time I am tired from my own struggles with my health. Other times I am tired of being curious because I was curious in my job as a therapist and I don’t have anything left in me. Yet, other times I simply just don’t want to know about another person for whatever reason.
The belief that they do not want it, that I will not have the time to do soul care well, that they do not want to get to God’s love and goals (beyond fishing things – ie the growth that comes with trials, the angst they may take out on me in an abusive way or that the relationship will not be there in the long run, or that doing so will exceed my ability to relate deeply to just so many people, keeps me from being more curious about another’s reality.
I’ve been practicing soul care and so, ultimately, nothing scares me anymore. However, before relying on The Spirit (which, He does give us the wisdom and sometimes exact words that we couldn’t come up with on our own), I used to feel like I had to have advice or muster up some kind of support that would make things better. I don’t have anything to offer other than my time, my willingness, and then God does the work. Now, I am quite curious about what God’s doing in peoples’ lives, and even in places where there are immense traumas, I have seen God bring supernatural peace within it. I’m amazed at what God can do, if we truly rely on The Spirit to move!
Opening a can of worm, and finding myself can’t handle, and fearing the other person who pinned his/her hope to solve his/her problem feeling ‘taken for a ride.’
One thing that can keep me from becoming more curious about a friend’s reality is fear of how to handle the truth. I often feel inadequate in how to relate to a friend’s deep story and that feeling of inadequacy can keep me from asking good questions. I also have a fear of not knowing what questions to ask, so this lesson was very helpful to me in showing me that inadequacy is a tool, and that needing to rely on the holy spirit is a very positive thing.
To be quite honest, I look at people for who they are at that time. I like to meet people where they are in life. We all have a story to tell. So is there reality a mask or is it the truth what they display? The truth is will we don’t know. Do we take the time to look into peoples eyes, you can tell there story just by looking in there eyes? Pain definitely always seeps out and so does joy. More people then not have had a childhood that they wish could have been different in one way or another. The reality is that we are one hurting human trying to help another.
The arena of my professional world has hampered my curiosity, discussing such matters at work is risky, but I have ventured there, as of late I have done that more than in community, Church’s dont even want to go that far, so I choose my places to do so, save my energy of surrender and curiosity for moments I feel the Spirits nudge and or movement. I have been blessed in my lifetime for be someone many have opened up to, said more about themselves to me than others, how well I have pursued that for the Lord in most cases I do not know, bit i have tried and pursued more often than not to whatever outcome, hopefully the Lord has used it for His will.