Silence is necessary in SoulCare in order to process and hear the direction of the Spirit. Pausing in a conversation has a tendency to make people feel awkward. I believe this is just a result of our fast paced, Western culture. In addition, a pause in conversation may suggest that you’re not in control and/or not listening. Being in control is contrary to what appetite SoulCare is about. As Dr. Crabb pointed out, the not listening can be rectified by mentioning to the person you’re conversing with why you may need to pause and be silent.
It takes a lot for people to feel comfortable to be silent during a conversation. It means it’s ok to take time to think, to go deeper to the matter and share.. It gives time for listening to the guidance of the Holy spirit and only say what is suitable.
It is usually our desire to go for the “wise insight” or the accountablity model(s) that makes us feel as if we constantly need to come up with something clever to say. In silence, we acknowledge our own inadequacy to provide SoulCare apart from the Holy Spirit. In silence, we observes what happens inside of our own heart. In silence, we nurture the ultimate vision for the other person. In silence, we listen to the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit within us. In silence, we discern if what we may be drawn to say, is genuinely holy and helpful and given as a gift with no strings attached.
When someone has shared something personal from beneath the waterline, we need time to reflect on what is going on in our own heart. We need to be aware of our reaction. We also need time to hear what the Spirit is saying in the moment. We need to measure our words and be sure that they are filled with love and a desire to see God move in them. Speaking too quickly may not allow time for adequate reflection and listening to the Spirit and we may offer simplistic replies that may even cut off the flow of the conversation.
You cannot hear the Spirit when you are talking constantly out of your own soul and flesh. 🙂 Taking time to listen, to ponder, and just to allow them the opportunity to feel fully heard will all the more make whatever the Spirit tells you to say so much more powerful.
Life is too noisy. In order to provide the gentleness of the Spirit we must be in tune with Him. We need time to reflect, to discern, to receive wisdom before we foolishly press on.
Silence – is a needed space to ‘listen, to ponder, to recall and reflect, to wait and listen… to both man and God, and even our internal voice.
The gift of silence, can be a way for the other person, to gather his or thoughts, it is also important for the Soul Care provider to be able be silent and fully listen to what the other person is saying before jumping in and trying to quickly solve the problem. Silence also helps us think about what is being shared, and to quietly process what is being shared and revealed. When our hearts and mind are quiet we can hear the small voice of the Holy Spirit guiding our words, thoughts and our conversations. Silence is a gift we can quietly reflect, and it calms down our noisy thoughts and flesh dynamics.
Silence is acceptable and even necessary in SoulCare because love requires thought. Thinking and talking don’t always go together. Being quiet and soaking up what was said, processing what you hear against what you feel or believe, putting yourself second and making sure that the Spirit of God is leading, not your ideas or flesh dynamics takes time.