• Discussion Forum

  Dr. Crabb talks about our tendency to keep relationships shallow using the image of “not turning our chairs toward one another.” Why is it so difficult for us to “turn our chairs”? In other words, why are we reluctant to let anyone really know us? As you think about your answer, consider these possible reasons: Don’t have time. Don’t want to get involved. Don’t care. Feel inadequate and awkward. Don’t know how to form deeper relationships. Not culturally acceptable. Explain several possible reasons (using your own or from the list above) and then give an example from your experience that demonstrates which reason most often keeps you from turning your chair towards others.

  Kelly Morrison replied 1 week ago 208 Members · 215 Replies

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  Kerry Wojcik

  Member

  01/10/2022 at 19:32

  in some cases we have a tendency to hide things about ourselves for fear of failure in the eyes of people that we are administering to.

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  Karen Selby

  Member

  01/07/2022 at 22:33

  The thing that keeps us from turning our chairs toward each other is fear that the other person will not understand, care, want to be, or take the time to be involved and love. There have been times when I have listed to myself share needs with others which seemed like they were so deep they were not in reality. Other times I have listened and been able to help and pray with others. This is the area that I think God has gifted me in, but many people do not want that closeness or there is only so much you can extend yourself. Other responsibilities are also present. I need to trust God for the balance and to minister to those he puts in place, not try to fix things on my own.

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  Sandra Henderson

  Member

  01/02/2022 at 15:46

  In the Christian community, we should be able to open up to others and feel comfortable letting people in. However, I have been in a situation
  where I let someone really know me and they judged or used my weakness against me. This is the reason I feel that a lot of us are afraid to really truly let someone in.

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  Liz Reid

  Member

  12/29/2021 at 16:40

  I definitely go through the thoughts in my mind as I realize that someone is opening up to me. I often think about the time needed when you get involved in someone’s life. More than the time is the energy. It takes deep personal resources to be able to invest in someone else. I’m usually most willing when I am most anchored in my own relationship with God –when I am consistently reading the Word, praying, and attending worship.

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  Langdon Roberts

  Member

  12/20/2021 at 06:10

  There are many reasons why I often don’t “turn my chair.” Sadly, even when the other person has turned to me. More often than not it is a desire. If I listen one time, then I know that there will be other times. I don’t have time for more ‘real friends.’ I also think that I am inadequate to give good advice. I would not want to make a situation worse. I do not believe that there is a formula that applies. It is different reasons for different people. There are probably times when I have my chair turned to someone who feels the same towards me. The one example I will give is an individual at church. I know that he is lonely. He is somewhat awkward and talking to him is exhausting. My wife does not feel safe around him. I reached out to his son, some years ago (he is now in prison). I can’t imagine how difficult it is for him. However, I usually try to avoid him. If I see him coming, I will either duck down a hallway or prepare a superficial conversation that won’t last too long. That, certainly, is to my shame.

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