Lecture

We’ve been looking forward to today.

I had the privilege to get this training about 25 years ago. Walk Thru the Bible had a course called Sharpening Your People Skills. And I would have to say that my ministry relationships, and the way I managed myself and other people – probably nothing influenced me more than what I received in that seminar. And I thank the Lord for Walk Thru the Bible organization that have licensed this course to Teach Every Nation.

So, we are broadcasting here from our TEN campus, Mackouwkuil here in Limpopo, and what a beautiful setting this campus is. And we have some of our TEN students, and a couple of deans here. And I just want to thank the audience. And give yourself a big hand for being here today. And I want to thank the TEN campus personnel and staff for just the great food and hospitality. We have had now over – 600 deans have visited this campus for a weeklong training. And it’s been lifechanging. I hope to see you on this campus soon. If you are coming here for the first time, we would like you to excel -- not just attending this course, but nine others -- and so receive your certificate. I’m so encouraged to see a lot of people graduating now with their Certificate of Achievement from Teach Every Nation.

Well, I want you to open your workbooks, and I want to read to you a quote, and see if you agree with it.

“What makes you successful in life is 10% based on your technical skills and often 90% your people skills.” Turn to the person next to you, and tell him or her if you agree with that statement. Now the interesting truth is, when you and I were trained for our profession, what percentage of the curriculum and the time did they spend on technical skills, and what percentage of your training helped you with people skills? Well, often there were no people skills taught – true or false? We focus on the technical skills. And then we come into a profession, or into a role, or responsibility, and we flounder, we struggle. Particularly when we’re young, we bump our heads a lot – not because we don’t know how to do the work, but how to get along with others. And so, this seminar is a foundational course to help you to do two things. You can understand yourself at a very different level after this course, and you’re going to understand other people a lot better. There’s a verse, that I’d like to read to you, that excites me about you and what’s going to happen with your life.

In Ephesians it says: “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we should walk in them.” We are His workmanship. And that’s you. God calls you His workmanship. On this campus we see God’s workmanship. We see the rivers. We see the lakes. We see beautiful animals. But when Paul gives us this revelation of God, he calls you and me – you there at home, or at your church, you are His workmanship. And God created you to do something that the Bible calls Good Works. God wants you to bless the people around you – your country, your neighborhood, your church. That’s your destiny. And that’s why He created each one of you uniquely for a specific purpose. And I want you to hear very early on in this seminar that you are good, you’re okay, and God intended you to be who you are. There’s a specific thing that only you can do – a calling, an adventure, a life direction, a legacy -- and God needed you to physically, and personality-wise, be exactly who you are. And so, when we think of relationships -- it is not always easy though. Because we are different, relationships don’t naturally always go well.

Part 1. Relationships Can Be Challenging]

1. Identify the people in your life you relate to most often

I’d like you to identify the people in your life that you relate to most often. Write the four people in your life that you relate to most often. Just write them down there, and think about them. And think about, “How am I getting along with this person?” Are we creating momentum together, or frustration? Do we gel? Do we love? Do we pick fights? Do we encourage one another? Do we criticize one another? Think of the people around you that you relate to most often. Do they irritate you, or do they inspire you? Do they encourage you, or discourage? And when they think about you, what would they say about you? Well, specifically for you, I have invited four friends to help you to understand the people dynamic. You’re going to be introduced to Peter, and Patrick, and Caryn, and Zanele. And I think the four of them are going to show us how wonderfully different we all are.

The Annual School Fund Raising Committee Meeting

Peter: I know we had some issues last year. But this year the school’s annual golf-ball fundraiser is going to be the best one ever.

Caryn: Yay, woo.

Peter: Everybody must just do their job.

Patrick: But, Mr. Smith, what about the budget?

Peter: The budget? What about the budget? Mr. Umcozi, you can do the budget for us. And you can just make it work.

Patrick: But Mr. Smith, we only have two weeks. And all the teachers we need to sort out. And, look, everyone is confused. Maybe you should sort out a task list.

Peter: Yes. Let’s all make task lists. But let’s also make a profit.

Patrick: But last year we lost all profit, because the tuck shop made a loss.

Caryn: But last year the tuck shop was the best thing of the whole fund raiser. And everybody is still talking about the cupcakes.

Peter: Enough. What I want from you is energy and commitment, and task lists on my table.

Patrick: By when?

Caryn: Mr. Umcozi, the reason the tuck shop made a loss is because the people that said they were going to come and help didn’t show up.

Patrick: No, Caryn. The tuck shop made a loss because of bad planning and pricing. Planning, Caryn, that’s the game.

Caryn: Hmm!

Zanele: Caryn, are you okay? What just happened?

Caryn: Zanele, you won’t believe what your husband just said to me. He said I didn’t plan. I feel like such a failure.

Zanele: Caryn, I know you do plan. Maybe you shouldn’t take on such a heavy load of responsibility.

Caryn: But I love being involved with everything. I’ll just plan harder. I’ll show them this year.

Peter: Ladies, let’s get back to work. As we always say here at St. Marks, a busy school is a happy school.

Caryn: A busy school is a happy school.

Well, that was a great skit to understand the different personality types. Who are you most like? And who are you working with?

2. Why are some relationships often challenging?

Well, as you can see there in the workbook, we have relationships that challenge us at work, in marriage. People skills, that’s a big deal, that’s what we do with life. Children -- sometimes you get married and things are going extremely well -- sometimes not – but then children show up. And some of them are just like your dad. And some of them are just like your mom. And some of them are just like your spouse. And some of them are just like you. And then, in ministry – you were so fired up, you went to Bible school, you get to the church, and within two to three weeks you’re butting heads with the deacon board or the elders, and you’re thinking, “Am I really called to be here?” Or you’re given a project, and people don’t want to follow you. You are excited about facilitating a change, and it doesn’t happen. Well, today you’re going to understand yourself and learn how to manage yourself a little better. Because typically what we want to do in relationship is to mange others. Today we going to learn if we understand ourselves how to work.

Part 2. Finding Your Unique Style

1. Everyone has strengths

So, the first thing you’re going to learn today is that everyone has strengths. Some of you are keenly aware of your strengths, and others of you are not. We’re going to do a little test today, and you’re going to understand that you have a strength.

1.1 And you’re going to say to the Lord: “I THANK You for giving me this asset in my personality style – or many of them.

Psalm 139 is a wonderful verse. It says: 13“For You have formed my inward parts; You have created me in my mother’s womb. 14I will praise You, -- and at the end of this day you’re going to praise God for how he made you – for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.” Friends, you’re going to learn today that not only did God made you physically wonderful, but your personality is a wonderful workmanship of the Creator. And that’s why, in one family you can have twins, and although they physically look the same, they are completely different. And what makes them different is their personality style. What makes them tick? What motivates them? What gets them going?

1.2 We seek to MAXIMIZE the impact of your strengths. And that’s why today we want to really focus on strengths more than weaknesses. Because what makes you a blessing to the world is really what you do well. So many times we try and compensate, and do things, and work on our weaknesses. But we want you to just celebrate your strength, and celebrate one another’s strengths, because that’s what makes a key difference in all of us.

2. Everyone has weaknesses

But we’re going to discover today that everyone has weaknesses. And here we don’t thank the Lord so much for it – although we could and we should -- because He intended that you to have weaknesses.

2.1 But your attitude should be: “I TRUST you Lord.” I trust You to develop it. And I trust You to bring other people into my life – in the team complex, in the body complex -- to become whole.

2.2 And we do seek to MINIMIZE – that’s the second word in ‘B’ – the impact of your weaknesses. We want you to be happy in your skin, but we want you to also understand that sometimes, just because of who you are, some people are going to find it frustrating working with you.

3. Everyone has a behavioural style

Everyone has a behavioral style. So on the next page you’re going to see a little test there, and this test is going to help you discover who you are.

Just open up there, and you’ll see four columns – A, B, C, D -- and there’s four words that you can choose from. And 24 times in this test we’re going to ask you to identify the word that describes you best. You’re not going to fail the test.

There are just three simple rules.

Firstly: Relax.

Secondly: Your first impression are usually the best ones. So don’t overanalyze. If you agree with that -- if you’ve read all four, and you understand them -- that one that you identify; circle that one. Only keep to the left-hand of the page. Don’t go to the right-hand side yet. Don’t overanalyze.

And what is helpful is, think about an environment that you enjoy working in. Don’t go back to your childhood. Don’t go back to school. Think of a work environment that you enjoy being in, and then, think what word describes you best.

First impressions are the best impressions. And when you’re done, just fold your hands. Don’t go to the right-hand side yet. Just fill in #1-24. You’re going to make 24 choices of: What word describes you best? And, if for some reason you don’t understand a word, just ask your neighbor.

We’re now at the second page. And what I’d like you to do there is to, again, match what you’ve done on the left-hand side to the right-hand side. So, let’s say, on the left-hand side you, in that first choice, -- Organize, Forceful, Careful, and Expressive – you circled Organized. Well, then, that is under column A. And because it’s under column A, when you go to the right-hand side, you will see B, D – and then circle the A. That’s the third one. Then, let’s say, in the second choice you made, between Pioneering, Correct, Exciting, and Satisfied, you thought Correct describes you best. So you circled Correct. That was under B. So now in the second line on the right-hand page, you’re going to go right to the fourth column -- it’s A, C, D – and you’re going to circle B. Let’s look at the third one as an example. If I circled, in the third one – not Willing, not Animated, not Bold, but I circled Precise, then, under #3, Precise, D. It’s C, B, A – it’s D. I circle the D. So you’re going to do that 24 times. So please do that. And then, once you’ve done it, I’ll give you another instruction.

Okay, great. Now you’ve done it. You’ve checked with a friend. You’ve done this, and you’ve marked it. Now what I’d like you to do on the top of that page here – you will see there’s a white space here -- I’d like you to write the following in. Under this first column, write the letter D at the top. Next to it I’d like you to write the letter ‘I’. Next to it, S. And next to it, C. So you’re going to spell the word DISC – D-I-S-C. Now what I’d like you now to do is – under D, I want you to count: How many circles do you have? So you’re going to go under D and count all the circles. And under the white block at the bottom, you’re going to tell me how many times you circled that column. So please do that. Sometimes it’s going to be like 10 in this column. It will count… How do you know if you’ve done it right? If you’ve counted everything at the bottom, and it counted to 24, you’ve done it right. If it counts to more than 24, you didn’t do it right. And it’s okay if you had all 24 in one row. It’s a little bit unusual. But it’s usually going to be a combination. Why is it a combination? Because none of you are just a D, an I, an S, or a C. You’re a combination.

So, if you are done, I want you to turn to the person next to you and help him or her to do it.

Now what I’d like you to do is to identify the two high scores -- you look at the bottom, and I want you to circle the number that is the most, and underline the one that is the second most. If you have a tie, that’s fine. You can circle them both. And then I would like you to write there – it says, under the page, my highest score is under the letters – you’re going to identify D, or I, or S, or C, and then I would like you fill in. Okay, now if you are done, and you think you’ve done it right, you need to help your neighbor. You can’t just look at her. You want to make sure that he or she has done it right. Right, now what I’d like to know is – let’s discover who we have in this audience. I would like you to raise your hand if your highest score was a D. Okay, we have one. Where is another D? Two D’s. Shout if there’s a third D. We have three D’s in this room. Great. Dynamite.

Let’s now see how many I’s we have in this room. Whose highest score was the I? Would they stand up please? Great. Now they love to be recognized. Please give a hand to the high I’s. They really love this. Right?

Now, who of you scored highest under S? I want you to just give a warm – just pat there and say, “You are so welcome here”. They love to be appreciated. They love to be next to warm people that are friendly.

And then, who got the highest as a C – the high C’s? Now the high C’s all want to see me afterwards to ask, “How can you be so sure about what I am? Who gives you the right to call me a C? I mean, this doesn’t seem to be very scientific. And, how can you just make a – you know, just put us in four boxes here so quickly?” Isn’t that true, C’s? You’re really questioning if this is a valid test.

So we have four personality types in the room – the D, the I, the S, and the C. But we are not just the D, I, S, and C. We also have a secondary score that influences us a lot. So I’m a D-I. My wife is an S-C. What are you? Tell the person next to you, “Well, I’m primary this, and secondary that”. So I’m a C-D, or D-I, or S-C.

If you have a score that’s very high on one, then you’re going to be a lot like that kind of personality. If your points were closer to one another, then that means that you’re going to identify with more than one personality style. Does that make sense?

So the more you have an exaggerated personality, the most those scores will be high and low. The more kind of a mellow person you are, the more they’ll be equally scored. Does that make sense? And nothing wrong or right here. That’s how God made you. That’s how God wants you. That’s how you’re going to do good works for Him.

Well, great friends, you’ve helped one another. You’ve done the test. The anxiety is over. You know that you’re primarily a D, a I, a S, or a C. And you know your secondary score. You’re going to take a little stand up right now. And if one of you have got this a little confused, let the dean or someone that knows this well, just help you, and retest, and do the score. When we come back, I’m going to explain to you: What does it mean to be a D, an I, an S, or a C? See you in a few minutes. Thank you.

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