Lecture

So, my D, I, S, and C colleagues, friends, brothers and sisters, this is going to change how you think about relating to other people – this session. This could be one of the most lifechanging sessions of people management and people skills that you’ve ever been to. And the reason is, basically for years I tried to relate to people based on how I was made. Are you with me? If you value blue, then you give blue to people. If you value red – if I value red, I give red to people. Now that I’ve understood DISC – often, if I think through it, and the more I listen to this teaching, and I teach it, the more I become fluent in giving people what they want and need to motivate them.

And so, by the way, if you want training to actually teach this course yourself – as you know, you’re a student now, so you can take this material and apply it. But you can’t teach this material. But Walk Thru the Bible can actually train you to come and teach this course. And in your book there’s information about it, or you can go to their website and find out how to become a trainer of this course. Because I have found the more you teach it the more it becomes part of you. But, of course, you can share this with you wife, and husband, and team. But you can’t teach this formally to other people yet. We want you to first become a trainer through our partner organization. So, good, here we are.

Why are people different? People are different because they have different motivations. They have different situations that are based for them. They accept and reject different things. They have a major strengths and weakness that you have to understand. They behave different under tension and under pressure. And they can all benefit from different things. And that is not all the same. And, by the way, the more you are a D, I, S, or C, the more these things will be true of you. And you’re a combination.

Part 1. Understanding and valuing the high “D” Style

So on that page, let’s understand the High D style. They are basically motivated. And as a leader, what is your role as a leader? Let me talk to all the deans and all the pastors that’s taking this course. One of your biggest roles as a leader – it’s not just to understand people, but it is to motivate them. A leader is someone that takes a person from Point A to Point B. And, if you don’t understand how different people work, you’re going to try and get them in the same way from Point A to Point B. But you get a D this way to this point, an I this way, an S, and a C. So that’s what we’re going to teach you in this session.

So for a High D, he is motivated by RESULTS and CHALLENGE -- not by process, and logic, and detail, but by results, and a challenge. If you say to a D to do something that’s never been done before, and that’s very difficult, do they feel motivated or de-motivated? Motivated. If you tell them, “No one has ever done this before…” And, listen, all types of people are leaders. All types of people are leaders. The point that I’m trying to make is, as a leader, sometimes you need D, I, S, or C behavior. And, for some leaders, different challenges and behavior are more difficult or not. Are you with me? But I want you all to be a leader. I want you to influence and motivate your child, your husband, your pastor, your congregation, your staff. And, yes, if you have a High D person, give him a challenge, and get him something to do. They like results.

The best situation for a High D – if you give a High D a challenge, and you give him a manual on how to do it, do they like it or not? Like I’m a High D. How many times have I read…? You know, the poor Japanese and Chinese, they’ve wasted so much money on me. When I buy their electronics, do you think I’ve ever read the manual? A High D – I hate the manual. It’s small letters. I’ve never read it. I start playing with the machine. What does the High C’s do when they get the manual? They read the whole thing like they’re going to have an exam afterwards, right? So they want challenges, freedom to act, variety. A High D doesn’t want to just focus on one thing. Because there’s continual opportunities or threats. When a D sees an opportunity, he initiates. When he sees a threat, he initiates. He’s not passive. So that’s a great environment for a D, when they can fix things. I’m a High D. So, when I go to a school that’s perfectly run – my kids have been to great schools that’s perfectly run. Do I become…do I like want to change the world or do I relax as a High D? I relax because things are working. There’s results. I can relax. If I go to a place that’s dysfunctional, that needs repair, where relationships are not working, where they’re not winning, what do I want to do? It’s a challenge. I want to what? Fix it. So High D’s aren’t always people that want to be in control. You sometimes think, “D’s, they just want to be in control”. No. It depends on the context. If there’s nothing to fix, I can what? Relax. Or, if I see an opportunity, then I want to go. But if there’s no opportunity, well, I can relax. So don’t think of High D’s as just – the context and the situation will trigger them.

So their best situation is continual challenges, freedom to act. They don’t want to be supervised. Don’t micromanage a D. If you micromanage a D, he’s going to die. He’s going to suffocate. Tell them what to do, and leave the strategy to them. They accept the difficult and they reject inaction. The major strength is getting things done. They’re decisive and they’re persistent. They’re not going to give up. Persistent people. People perceive them sometimes that they have major weaknesses, because they seem to be insensitive to others. But if the task is my main problem and you get in front of me, I may not come across as so sensitive. Because I’m more committed to get the task done than I am to please you. And because they’re impatient, they sometimes don’t do, what they call in business, due diligence. They don’t do enough research to find out if it can happen. They’re motto is ‘shoot and then aim’, right?

They can be inflexible and unyielding. And we’re going to give you a trick later on in this seminar on how to get them to move. It’s very easy to get a High D to move. But if you don’t understand the strategy, you’re going to experience them as very inflexible and unyielding. Now, what happens when a High D is under attack? If you have a strong, forceful High D, and you tell him – and you attack the idea, or you’re not cooperating, do they kind of…? Do they do this or do they become more strong? More strong.

So they become AUTOCRATIC. Behavior under tension – they become more autocratic. If you have two High D’s, then one eventually becomes the alpha male, and the other one will submit. True or false? So you sometimes see a High D… I’m a High D. When I work with other High D’s, and I work for them, what happens to my D? It goes down. It has to, right? But sometimes my D with other people will go up if I’m goal oriented and you resist me. So they become autocratic under tension. They’re not always like that. But under tension they do.

They would benefit from listening more. Remember the school principal?

Understanding the High D

Peter: My name is Peter Smith. And I am the principal of St. Marks Secondary. I am a High D. I like to be challenged. And I like it when the people around me are challenged. Because I believe it brings out the best in them. Now, sometimes people may think that I don’t care about them. But that’s not true. Because I want to see people achieve their best. I don’t give up. I never quit. And I win at any cost. And I love it when our school wins.

MD] So let’s get into the classroom context a little bit. On your page there – The Mindset of a High D. You may want to fill this in.

The ideal world of a High D is where they have RESULTS. So, if you’re a High D, and you belong to a – if you have a sports team that loses all the time, how do you think a High D supporter likes that? That’s terrible for a High D. He wants to support a team that has results. Now a High S fan, he’ll stick with the team whatever happens. They’re loyal. High D wants a winning team.

A High D, they will say, “I like to CHANGE things. I like to change things.”

I think Frank Sinatra was a High D. I want to do it MY way.

Their greatest fear is losing CONTROL. Because if you don’t have control, you don’t have results. So a High D wants control in the business environment or finances, and people. If you don’t give a High D resources of people and money, and you give them a task, they’re going to be highly frustrated. Because they need those things. They want to have control.

And they have a fear of not having a CHALLENGE. We get bored just having fellowship. Can you imagine, if you’re a High D, and you’re in a typical church that just have fellowship? You just want to die. What do you want to do? You want to change the world, do something. Good. I think we understand the High D.

Part 2. Understanding and valuing the high “I” Style

Let’s go over to the High I. Now the High I are motivated by different things than the High D.

They want the RECOGNITION and APPROVAL. If you want to motivate the High I, put them on a stand. If you’re a High D, and you win, you don’t need a lot of congratulations. Because the win speaks for itself for a High D. But the I – man, if he has a big win, or she, they want to be clapped. They want to be recognized, their name in the paper. The Bible says, “Honor one another”. And a High I that’s not honored is not a happy I. So if you want to motivate the happy I, or an I, just give them recognition and approval.

What is their best situation? They want new and exciting opportunities. Remember, they don’t live here. They live in the future. So you want to dream with them. You want to give them something about the future that’s exciting. They’re also like the High D. They don’t like control and detail. High I’s don’t like detail. They like color. They don’t like facts. A High I want the opportunity to motivate others. They want access to people. Their best situation is not an island. They need access to people.

They accept involvement with others and they reject isolation. If you tell a High S kid, “Okay, you’re naughty. If you do that again, I’m going to lock you in your room for 3 hours”. You tell that to a High S kid, he thinks, “Well, I can’t wait. That’s like heaven. I’m going to read and I’m just going to relax.” You tell a High I kid he’s going to be in 3 hours of isolation, that’s hell. So choose what punishment and discipline you have for kids. They reject and accept different things.

The Strength of a High I – they’re Optimistic, Personable, Enthusiastic. If you want something to get sold, get a High I to sell it. They love doing it. They’re doing it by design.

When it comes to the weakness of a High I – they can over-sell something. And what happens if you’re a High I, and you over-sell to a C? Do they get motivated or de-motivated? De-motivated. So, if you over-sell to certain personality types, they don’t like it. The major weakness – they can be seen as manipulative, because they have good verbal skills. And because a High I says yes to so many things, they can seem to lack follow-through. And they can also procrastinate, like some other folks – the S’s, as well. They wait.

Their behavior -- if you criticize a High I, or you oppose them, they will ATTACK you. Just as sweet as their tongues can be – they like to praise people, right? – they will often praise others. But if you attack them, man, that sword comes out of that mouth and it will cut you down. They have a sharp tongue. They have a sweet tongue, and a sharp tongue. So be careful about that.

And they would benefit – for others, they would benefit from pausing a little bit – pausing before they say yes. And they’re sometimes the life of the party, but they can sometimes totally dominate it. If you actually see two High I’s in a party, they try to out-talk one another. So the High I should allow other people space to what? Participate and talk. They would benefit from pausing.

Understanding the High ‘I’

Caryn: “Hi. I’m Caryn. I’m married to Mr. Peter Smith. He’s so handsome. Oh, yes, I’m a High I. I like to talk a lot. I work at the tuck shop. And I own a tuck shop. I love working at the tuck shop. Because all those children are so adorable. They’re such a positive. And it’s not just the sugar. I love children. I love being with people all the time. I also like taking a lot of projects. But I don’t always finish them. Hmm, things don’t allow me. I would like to finish things, it’s just there’s always something else that needs me. I’m so excited about the fundraiser. And when I’m excited, everyone is excited.”

By the way, the High I – did you hear she’s a name dropper? Because Peter Smith is not just Peter Smith. He’s also the principal. If you’re around High I’s, they always tell you about who they know. That’s very important. They name drop more than any other personality style. And, if you want to get them in on the act, you just tell them famous people are going to be there. There don’t care what’s going to happen there; they’ll be there. True or false?

So let’s go to the classroom and talk a little bit about it. Now what was the High I’s . . .? Listen, I have ‘I’ in me, as well, so I own some of this.

My ideal world is where I have FUN. We like fun. We don’t like the ordinary. We like colorful ideas, out of the ordinary. We don’t like the mundane. Like if you’re a High I, and you go to a traditional church, and you know exactly what’s going to happen the next minute, you want to die. It’s boring. Now the S and C’s, they love the traditional church because they can plan. But the High I’s, they want to have what? Fun. You got to give them fun. The High D wants productivity. The High I wants fun. You got to give that to the High I. All of us like to have fun.

They like to DREAM things. Let them dream. The I’s dream aloud. Their printers are on all the time. They think aloud. They scare us because they think we’re serious about all these dreams. We’re not. We’re just thinking out-loud. Are you with me? Some of you, when you declare something, you thought about it or you’ll never declare it. The High I’s just talk. When an idea comes into the mind, boom, it’s out there, right? And you got to give them space. And don’t be so threatened by that. So what we want to do with those poor dreamers is we come and we pour cold water on them all the time, right? What do the High I’s feel when you do that to them? Man, they don’t like it. You’re so depressing to be around. Just let them… The nice thing is, they’ll get excited about something else tomorrow, and you don’t have to worry about it. I’ve seen it with my daughter, as an High I. She wanted to walk with the lions, and she’s washing some elephants in Zambia at the moment, but she also wants to do dolphins. She can’t afford both. Now, instead of me giving her lectures that she can’t do both, we’ve become a little mature now; we just leave it and reality will set in. But for some of us, when we hear a dream, what do we want to do with that dream? Bring reality to it immediately. Don’t do it with a High I child, or the High I partner, or boss, or whatever.

They want to do it the EXCITING way. They like color. They don’t just look at efficiency, how to save costs. They want to do it in a fun, great, bright way.

Their greatest fear is losing FACE. -- What does that mean? That they’re publicly shamed. That’s a big fear of a High I. – or not having SOCIAL APPROVAL. Very traumatic for them.

Part 3. Understanding and valuing the high “S” Style

Good, it’s time to understand the High S. So the High S also has a basic motivation, and that is RELATIONSHIPS and APPRECIATION…Relationship and appreciation. The poor High S’s, they all the time feel that they are more loyal to their friends than their friends are to them, true or false? You initiate, but they don’t text back. You’re on Instagram or Facebook, and you ask questions – you’re always asking and… When you’re a High S, you always have to ask your friends about what’s going on in their world. They don’t ask you about your world, right? Because you’re other orientated. But you also need attention. So with the High S, they love relationships -- but do give them appreciation. They need that. They need relational fuel. And just because they servants, and they’ll do it again, we need to appreciate the High S’s a lot more.

Their best situation is where they can serve others. So they have the gift of service. So when the Bible says, in Romans, “If you have the gift of service, do more of it”. Great, do it. Don’t expect the S’s… They can look at other Christians and, if they don’t do the same as them, they don’t think they’re Christian. No. You have the gift of service. Enjoy that. But not all people have that gift, but they have it. Their best situation is Stable and Predictable. They want a friendly, peaceful environment. They hate it if a church splits, or if a family splits. Because relationship is more important than being right. Very traumatic for them. So when you change something, give them a little bit of warning before. Don’t jump things on a High S.

My wife is a High S, and I’m a High I. So, our church was just across from our home. I was assistant pastor. We were married young. And so, I would get out of the church, and people would stand there, and I would say to them, “Why don’t you come over to our house and have some coffee?” – on the spur of the moment. So, what do you think what happened to my nice wife ‘S’s, attitude? Sour. That’s what S stands for -- sour. Now usually she’s this warm, friendly, servant, and in a minute she got sour. Why? Because they don’t like something that’s unpredictable. She has the gift of hospitality. I just wing it. But my first Bible study with my wife was Romans 13:8 – you know, the Bible tells us to be hospitable. Because I wanted her to be hospital the way a ‘I’ is -- on the spur of the moment. Later on I realized that I need to give her warning. Because she wants to do it in a special way. And her C wants the house to be clean or in a mess? Clean. So, one of the things you start understanding it is, when you don’t understand the differences, then you look at your partner’s weakness and you don’t see the strength. If you understand the differences, you appreciate that they show hospitality in a different way. True or false?

Their major strength is to be Supportive, Agreeable, and Loyal. They are the glue. They keep things together. But as much as they have a strength, the weakness can be because they don’t like conflict. They can be too indirect. They don’t disagree with you forcefully. They kind of do it indirectly. They can also be – resist quick change. Sometimes quick change are important. And they can be overly tolerant. They can be overly tolerant.

Their behavior under tension is a weird word -- I’m going to put it on the board there – ACQUIESCE. They GIVE IN. They surrender. So they don’t become more talkative. They don’t fight about it. They just give in. But the problem is, they may say yes, but they mean no. So, S’s, sometimes that stands for liar, right? Because to avoid conflict, they kind of give in. But there’s no loyalty to the idea and they’re not going to do it. But just to avoid a fight, they will say, “Yes”, but never get to it. The nice thing is there’s not a fight in the beginning. The fight is later on.

They would benefit from initiating more – particularly tasks. They do initiate with people. But for the D’s and the C’s, they would like the S’s to initiate a little bit more. But, sometimes you got to give them space to do it. Because they have a lot of initiative ideas, but their personality would rather listen than… And they’re sometimes so bothered by the D’s and the I’s talking so much that they don’t want to add to the pain. True or false? So, in order for them to initiate more, you got to give them more space.

Understanding the High ‘S’

Zanele: Hello. I am Zanele Umcozi and I’m a High S. I’m the mother of [s/l Mutato and Umpoor]. And I volunteer at St. Marks and at the church. And, basically, I just help out wherever I see a need. See, I value people and I find purpose when I can support them -- like with the fundraiser. But now they are changing the program again, and it really upsets me. Patrick says I should tell Mr. Smith how I feel. But I can’t do that. I can’t. I’m not going to tell Mr. Smith how to do his job.

Don’t we need all of them? What would the world be with just D’s? It would be a world war, right? If it was just I’s, it would be just one party. If it was S, we’d be a nice, happy family, but not much would happen. And the C’s now…

Well let’s look at the High S. Let’s go back to our classroom. Open up your books there, and let’s look at the Mindset of a High S.

Their ideal world is where they have PEACE. So they’re going to avoid conflict.

They like to analyze and WATCH things. The High D’s and I’s want to go on the game drive and see as many animals as they can – and maybe the C. But the S would be quite happy to go and sit there on the beautiful, tranquil lake, and just observe, right? They’re great observers.

They want to do it the SAME or the traditional way. They don’t want to ruffle the feathers.

Their greatest fear is losing STABILITY. If you’re a husband, and you come to your wife and say, “I want to immigrate next year or next month”, they don’t want that. They want stability.

Their greatest fear is not having a RELATIONSHIP. I think you know the High S now. We need and love them. Family people. They value family. If you have a High S employee, and you let them work all the time overtime, what will happen to their attitude? The S will become sour. Because a High S values family. If you tell a High D to do a challenge, is he going to worry about the family? No. The challenge will drive them 24/7 -- or the High I. But the S – family is an important value.

Part 4. Understanding and valuing the high “C” Style

The last one is the High C. The High C is also motivated in very good ways. You better understand this. This was very important for me to understand. Because I need High C’s around me all the time. I have many ideas, and I’m involved in many projects. But ideas and projects without High C’s go nowhere. Because they’re actually the implementers, the people that actually do it. I want to get things done. But the C’s actually are the people who do it. They have the technical capacity. You’re creative. You can apply yourself. Great with that.

So they like to do things RIGHT and they are motivated by QUALITY. The High D is motivated by quantity – many things. The High C is motivated by quality – also a task person, but quality.

The best situation is clearly defined. If you give a High C a task, they want a road map, as well. They want an instruction manual. They want steps 1, 2, and 3. Otherwise, they feel unsure. The best situation is limited risk. They don’t like to fail. So they want limited risk. And they want tasks that requires attention to detail. Safety is important to them. True or false? They are risk averse. And that’s good. Now sometimes you can see that as a what? A bad quality – particularly if you’re not wired that way. But you need that. They like the SABS seal of approval. They want quantity. And they want to research things. They don’t like to make a rush decision on buying something. If you let them buy something quickly, they want to what first? Check it out, research it, know what’s good.

They accept methods and structure, and they reject a lack of quality. They reject a lack of quality. If they build something, and the thing is not 100%, what do they want to do with the building? Break it down, and start it again. The High I, “Ah, it looks fine”. The High D, “I want to build”.

By the way, what’s the base doctor – D, I, S, or C? Who do you want to be your doctor? Well, I’ll tell you, in the emergency room where there’s a lot of blood and a lot of patients, I want a what? A High D. Okay, High I, I never want the High I doctor. Because they will talk so much, and they’re talking while you’re dying, right? I guess there’s great High I doctors, right? A High S doctor, the best family doctors you can get because they listen. They don’t treat you just like a number. They actually listen to you. House calls, sympathetic. Is the D sympathetic? No. We had a High D doctor at one of these seminars, and he said, “Now I understand myself”. When he does an operation now, he times himself to see how quickly he can do it. Because a High D loves a challenge. If I’m going to have brain surgery, what kind of doctor do I want? Just the High C doctor. No D’s, no I’s, no S’s. I want you to be High C, because you’re going to work detailed. So, think about a teacher; some teachers will be great giving certain subjects. So don’t think you can’t be in medicine because you’re not a High C or a High S. But there’s a role in every industry for your fit. Pastors – D, I, S, and C pastors – different styles; different results. Sometimes a church needs more D, I, S, or C. That’s how you need to think about it.

Major Strengths – they’re Orderly, Thorough, Analytical. Thank God my wife is a lot of C. Our house is always clean. Now I love a clean house, although I don’t have so much C. But I don’t love it enough to clean it up. My wife, thank God, she loves so much the clean house that she is willing to what? Clean it. Now, because I love her, I used to have my work and ministry in the same place as the house. So how do you think that worked out? So now I have removed my office environment from my house, so that I don’t have to bring my chaos and disorder into her world. Because that’s not serving her or loving her. Are you with me? Now I love it that she’s High… But if she was to be High C on my work environment, that will drive me crazy, as well. So you have to be wise about how you think about this.

Major weakness, the backside of it, they can lack spontaneity. Because, remember, they’re thinkers. They’re not just going to say yes. They first have to do – think. They can be considered to be too detailed or too cautious.

Behavior under tension – that’s another ‘A’ word – they AVOID it. Because they’re not like the S – going to say yes if they mean no. But they also don’t like conflict. So they’ll just avoid you or the situation. They kind of pull in, become introverted about it. And, therefore, they will benefit more from the Declaring.

Understanding the High ‘C’

Patrick: I’m Patrick Umcozi. I’m a teacher at St. Marks. I’m a High C. You say I’m rigid. But, no, I’m very orderly. I want to do things in a proper way. I do things step by step. And I want them done right. My students know this. They work hard; they pass. They don’t work hard; they fail. What you put in is what you get out.

By the way, look how he’s dressed. Isn’t this a perfect C, huh? But what I like about it, you’re a real C, right? -- not just an actor. What I love is, on a scale of 1 to 10, how friendly is he? 12, right. So, I want to say this. When I described C, you may think that they want critical, orderly process. But it doesn’t mean you don’t get a friendly one, like this one, now and then. I wish they all were like you. Thank you.

So, let’s go back to the classroom. The Mindset of a High ‘C’.

The ideal world is where they have EXCELLENCE. They hate mediocrity and low standards. They must love the campus, don’t they? Is this place a place of excellence or mediocrity? Excellence. You want your cooks like this one here to have a High C. Things are orderly, neat, great food. It’s a well thought-out menu. Do you get the same food all the time? Because a High C is what? If I were to cook, you would have had pop and borscht every day.

They like to RESEARCH things. I don’t always like to research things, as a High D, that’s why I work with experts. When I get things done properly, I find people who are experts in their field, and then I can delegate. Because I’m a D-I. I get results through people. Now, I have a D-C colleague. They are workaholics. Because they want to do things, and they want to do it right, so they tend to work too many hours. If you’re a C, you need to learn how to delegate – true or false? Because you need to start trusting and developing people. And sometimes you’re doing it right by allowing people to fail. But if you are too committed to excellence, you’re never going to develop other people, because you’re going to be too scared they fail. It’s okay if they fail, but you want to grow them.

Number 3: I want to do it the RIGHT way -- not the fast way, not the fun way. They want to do it the right way.

Their greatest fear is being WRONG or being CRITICIZED. Let’s thank God for the High C’s in this life. Let’s just give them a big hand.

One of my favorite sessions in the training here of today is not just understanding others and yourself, but go and look at the Bible, and to see how the Lord beautifully created four different types of people, and how we’re related uniquely to them. So join me in the next session, and we’re going to look at a biblical understanding of the D, I, S, C theory.

Coming Up Next Session Questions. But first, enjoy this preview of another lifechanging course.

Anyone Can Become a Great Communicator

How would you like to become a great communicator – not a mediocre one or average one, but one who can really communicate?

What if there were universal laws that governed communication – that when you learn the laws, and then practice them, you could take them with you because they were yours – they were you, and you became the teacher?

When I was a young man, I was so boring that some of the audience got up and left. And I died inside because I wanted to become an effective communicator. And I went back to work…I went back to the Bible and said: What are the secrets in the Bible about how you can effectively communicate to other people?

The power of your delivery is the most powerful thing you have to cause them to learn. And your delivery has to do all with your body.

Everybody communicates, whether you’re a parent, a teacher, a preacher, a business person. These laws that govern effective communication – when you learn them, and then you use them, you’ll be shocked, and your audience will be shocked, because they’re universal. They work with anybody.

I think every pastor should attend this. For me it was like so personal. I felt like Bruce was speaking to me personally.

I’m going to unlock that cabinet that has all the secrets inside of how great communicators actually do it.

There are three parts of your voice – soft to loud voice. When you really want to grab somebody in your delivery, you can go extremely loud and deal with the issue of something that must grab the audience – loud. You can be just as dramatic with the other extreme. It’s so gripping. It’s just so, ‘oh my goodness’.

And if you use the secrets that they have found and they use, I’ll tell you, nobody is going to leave your meeting ever again.

And those of you who are teachers, you can really cause students to learn in one semester. You can make a huge difference. And you can decide from now on, “I’m going to make my body do what my students need. I’m going to do it. I’m going to become a master of the platform, master of my gestures, master of my voice, user of my eyes. I’m going to do it.”

When you learn the secrets of using your body to deliver your message to your students in such a way that they rise up and call you ‘blessed’, ah, that’s it. Anyone, including you, can become a great communicator.