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Lesson OneIntroduction to SoulCare: Getting Started on the Journey3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson TwoThe First Task in Learning to Provide SoulCare: Knowing What You're After and What It Takes to Get There3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson ThreeA Personal Search: Beginning with an Inside Look3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson FourThe Concept of Ruling Passions: What Energy Carries You into the Life of Another3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson FiveBrokenness: The Key to Releasing the Power of SoulCare3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson SixThe Good and the Bad in the Human Soul: Self-Need vs. Soul-Thirst3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson SevenEntering the Battle for Another's Soul: The First Step3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson EightWisdom: A Roadmap for Entering the Soul Without Getting Lost3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson NineGetting into the Battle: Moving Below the Waterline from the Presenting Problem to the Story of the Soul3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson TenAgents of Growth: What SoulCare Can Do in Our Lives3 Activities1 Assessment
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Course Wrap-UpCourse Completion1 Activity1 Assessment
Participants 598
Discussion Questions
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Dr. Crabb talks about our tendency to keep relationships shallow using the image of “not turning our chairs toward one another.” Why is it so difficult for us to “turn our chairs”? In other words, why are we reluctant to let anyone really know us? As you think about your answer, consider these possible reasons: Don’t have time. Don’t want to get involved. Don’t care. Feel inadequate and awkward. Don’t know how to form deeper relationships. Not culturally acceptable. Explain several possible reasons (using your own or from the list above) and then give an example from your experience that demonstrates which reason most often keeps you from turning your chair towards others.
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I come from a honor-shame culture where we always want to share our good things happening in life and the bad things would bring shame to the family. In my case, even though i accepted Christ, I am not sure if I can open up myself and talk about my struggles and the private sins that i commit in my life which i wanted to get rid of but still in the process. I am not where i have to be but i am not where I used to be as well. my deepest concern would be, what will they think of me? will they accept me and treat me as a human being God created and the value is same as the other person. As said in the shinny apple example, I do not want the person to spit off the 1st, 2nd bite of that apple which was tasty when he sees the black spot with a worm on the 3rd bite. This will devastate me for sharing my thoughts to him. For ex, I am a dark skinned person. In my school days (in India) when any school boy loses something the first look the teacher gives is at me because i am black and I would definitely be one of the suspect and the questioning will start from me. So I started to separate myself from others and kepy myself alone. But now it is not like that I am confident in who my God is and there is a purpose for me. If he wants me to use as head / tail, i would gladly agree and do so as my reward is in heaven for the work that he gives me.
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It’s difficult for me at times to turn my chair because yes, I my feel inadequate or it could depend on the time it takes to listen deeply. Sometimes I could be going through the same situation of the other person and not wanting to deal with it.
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The possibility of rejection.
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I think most people don’t “turn their chair” because they felt uncomfortable to talk about deep things, for fear that they might not know how to deal with it. Being introvert might also be the reason why some people don’t “turn their chair”. For me, I am an introvert, so I don’t usually turn my chair unless I sensed that the person I turned to is friendly and non-judgmental and I will be more proactive if it is a duty – e.g. when I am doing befriending in church. Otherwise, I will just be quiet.
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People stay on the surface in order to protect themselves. We can hide who we are on the inside by covering up the truth of our inner thoughts that would shock (maybe) others to be revealed. It is easy to be pleasant and surfacy, people can be friendly to that, but of course we will never have true meaningful friendship or marriage if we aren’t willing to go beyond all that. Yes, exposing our vulnerability can be painful, so we need to be discerning in who we share with. Why have I been reluctant to open up. I grew up feeling very awkward, and by holding people out from my inner being, I could protect myself. Getting deep into a relationship where I am vulnerable, where I can be open means to expose my shame and inadequacy. I opening up to my wife, I have found a deeper relationship where being know is beautiful. Where being vulnerable and open means a deep residing love that is proving to be a reflection of who God intended for me to be in this life.
