• Discussion Forum

  Dr. Crabb talks about our tendency to keep relationships shallow using the image of “not turning our chairs toward one another.” Why is it so difficult for us to “turn our chairs”? In other words, why are we reluctant to let anyone really know us? As you think about your answer, consider these possible reasons: Don’t have time. Don’t want to get involved. Don’t care. Feel inadequate and awkward. Don’t know how to form deeper relationships. Not culturally acceptable. Explain several possible reasons (using your own or from the list above) and then give an example from your experience that demonstrates which reason most often keeps you from turning your chair towards others.

  Tricia Hershberger replied 5 days, 2 hours ago 209 Members · 216 Replies

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  Rachel

  Member

  03/18/2023 at 19:37

  I believe it is often difficult for any person to “turn our chairs” towards each other due to fear, lack of trust, and the concern of being too forward with others. In my own experience, I have been reluctant in turning my chair when there have been many times I was labeled as too young or naive, which has led me to often feel inadequate and awkward like I don’t want to be involved. I have notice that when I begin to feel this way a lack of confidence tends to follow as I think of how my next move will be received.

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  Alisa Rogers

  Member

  03/18/2023 at 17:09

  I think it might be fear of really knowing and understanding yourself, and what God may think, even though he is in complete control and has his plan for your life. God knows YOU, and that can be intimidating if you don’t put your faith in him. Confronting reality and possible judgment of others.

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  Liz Woo

  Member

  03/18/2023 at 11:59

  To respond in defense of why I think it’s important to be introspective in terms of the water line etc. per the assignment with my last name starts with “W”:
  I do believe that, since we are not robots, we will hear and think and see the council be through the eyes of our own filters. If there are planks/filters that exist there, then we will see that person with our own skewed lens. It would be detrimental to here and then possibly proceed to offer advice or counsel using our own filtered lens instead of what God would want to say to that person without that filter/plank. Also, I don’t know if we can take people into healing beyond what we have been healed of ourselves. So in theory, if we are not emotionally free in an area, it may potentially be more difficult to help someone else heal, or get free of that same issue (if that’s the goal) when our tendency through that filtered lens would be to relate to, sympathize and or justify Issues instead of address them.

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  Frances Hoyt

  Member

  03/15/2023 at 17:23

  I think it is often insecurity that becomes coupled with the fear that someone will get in and see who I really am. They will see my weaknesses and failures and then judge me. There is then the other side of the coin of insecurity which is afraid that once the person really sees me they will no longer want anything to do with me.

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  Michael Van rhee

  Member

  03/15/2023 at 12:56

  In my experience of not turning my chair, lack of trust is usually why I didn’t open up in the past. Gaining trust takes time as information is slowly fed. People are afraid of what others think and are so scared of judgment and being vulnerable. Leaders in my life have shown me their inadequacies and weaknesses and that it is ok to move forward.

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