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Lesson OneIntroduction to SoulCare: Getting Started on the Journey3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson TwoThe First Task in Learning to Provide SoulCare: Knowing What You're After and What It Takes to Get There3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson ThreeA Personal Search: Beginning with an Inside Look3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson FourThe Concept of Ruling Passions: What Energy Carries You into the Life of Another3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson FiveBrokenness: The Key to Releasing the Power of SoulCare3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson SixThe Good and the Bad in the Human Soul: Self-Need vs. Soul-Thirst3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson SevenEntering the Battle for Another's Soul: The First Step3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson EightWisdom: A Roadmap for Entering the Soul Without Getting Lost3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson NineGetting into the Battle: Moving Below the Waterline from the Presenting Problem to the Story of the Soul3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson TenAgents of Growth: What SoulCare Can Do in Our Lives3 Activities1 Assessment
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Course Wrap-UpCourse Completion1 Activity1 Assessment
Participants 600
Discussion Questions
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Dr. Crabb talks about our tendency to keep relationships shallow using the image of “not turning our chairs toward one another.” Why is it so difficult for us to “turn our chairs”? In other words, why are we reluctant to let anyone really know us? As you think about your answer, consider these possible reasons: Don’t have time. Don’t want to get involved. Don’t care. Feel inadequate and awkward. Don’t know how to form deeper relationships. Not culturally acceptable. Explain several possible reasons (using your own or from the list above) and then give an example from your experience that demonstrates which reason most often keeps you from turning your chair towards others.
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The idea of awkwardness in sharing at a deeper level plays a part in it. I’m speaking from a man’s perspective. The idea of being vulnerable is scary. It is easier to share successes than failures. If I speak of where I feel I am strong or at least adequate, I do not have to show weakness. This takes a level of energy. Because it does, I do not want to spend a lot of time engaging in it. Therefore, I will keep the conversation superficial and not expend the additional energy.
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I believe fear is the reason most of us are reluctant to turn our chair towards others. Fear of being judged, fear of rejection, fear that your secrets or struggles will not be kept safe with the person you share with. For myself, besides fear, I feel inadequate to really go deeper into a relationship with someone. Perhaps that is also fear or a lack of trust in God to guide my speech or give me the words to say that will help and not harm. I am a great listener, but I struggle with knowing how to respond. What do I say? How will it be received? How can I assure someone that they are safe with me? How can I be assured that I am safe with them? Maybe we think too much about those things and think less about how God can use us.
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The tendency to keep relationship shallow or not allowing people to know deep things about us. I think the most important reason to me is lack of trust, especially if you have trusted your life to someone to keep your secret and the person disappointed you. Again in churches these days, you really have to pray and allow the Holy Spirit to lead you to the right person, because some pastors have misused the opportunity to be there for those who needs soul care. I think is just the fear of people secret being known or shared without their consent that makes a lot of people to keep to themselves and prefer to stay away from people.
The way we relate to people or talk to each other matters. As a person if I am talking with anyone, I try to listen to her response or body language, I will quickly ask my safe, is this the kind of person to share my story with.
If I attend a church a group for the first time, one of the things that will keep me there is how they received me or interacted with me.
I remember as a young Christian, I wanted to share a burden with a pastor, this is a woman from far I respect so much , I went to her discussed with her and the next time she was preaching, she referred to what I told her ,and I felt very bad , I knew people may not know ,she was talking about me, but unfortunately from that day I found it difficult to confide to someone. Thank God, I am blessed with a husband I can share things with and pray about it. -
Personally I feel that there a couple of reasons that make it difficult to let anyone really know me. To let anyone really know me means to be vulnerable, which is a scary feeling especially when you don’t feel safe and accepted in your relationships. In most of the relationships people have these days there is a shade of insecurity that is always there from previous experiences when the trust you gave to other people wasn’t respected and your vulnerability was misused against you. The wounds that result from these experiences act like a wall between you and others that makes it even more difficult to allow others to really know you.
Another reason is that letting people really know you means you are going to dedicate time and effort for that and expect to have the same in return, which is not always the case. With the busy lives everyone is leading it becomes harder to dedicate time for others. And with the risk of not getting this attention in return you risk to feel rejected from others which again builds another wall that tells you to keep to yourself and not expose yourself again to these kinds of hurting experiences. -
I think that it is difficult for me to turn my chair is because I feel that I don’t have the time to be deeply involved with every person that needs something. I just don’t have the time. I love sharing myself with others without expecting investment in return because I realize that everyone can’t be my person.