• Discussion Forum

  Dr. Crabb talks about our tendency to keep relationships shallow using the image of “not turning our chairs toward one another.” Why is it so difficult for us to “turn our chairs”? In other words, why are we reluctant to let anyone really know us? As you think about your answer, consider these possible reasons: Don’t have time. Don’t want to get involved. Don’t care. Feel inadequate and awkward. Don’t know how to form deeper relationships. Not culturally acceptable. Explain several possible reasons (using your own or from the list above) and then give an example from your experience that demonstrates which reason most often keeps you from turning your chair towards others.

  Tricia Hershberger replied 6 days, 7 hours ago 209 Members · 216 Replies

• 

  Michelle Henderson

  Member

  12/09/2022 at 07:14

  One of my biggest problems of not wanting share my deepest thoughts and feelings with another person is being judged by that person (seen inadequate). Secondly my conversation isn’t going to be kept private. It’s difficult to share my concerns with others if I feel uncomfortable in the sharing.

• 

  Gaynor Lincoln

  Member

  12/09/2022 at 04:00

  Possible reasons: We may be reluctant to disclose who we are for fear it will lead to rejection, judgement, or another negative response. It might have happened to us before and it be a case of once burnt, twice shy.
  We may fear we are the wrong age group, gender, social status, or race to relate deeply to the person in front of us.

  Example: I am older and the physiotherapist I go to is in her twenties. She lives such a different lifestyle to me and freely shares what she does. I am afraid to share my life with her as I think she will have no understanding of what it’s like to be a person in their sixties with physical restrictions. Maybe she will consider my life boring and have no interest in getting to know me. So I ask about her and tell her little of myself.

• 

  Jamae Sippio

  Member

  12/03/2022 at 23:28

  I think that one of the main reasons that it is difficult for us to allow people to really know us/ turn our chairs toward others is we don’t ask God who we should reveal ourselves to and who we should allow into our lives. When we pray and ask God for deeper relationships and closer friends. He begins to send people our way and through prayer we know they have been sent. Knowing God has sent them helps us to feel safer and more willing to share. There was a season of my life when I felt alone even when I was around many people. I did pray and ask God to send people I could connect with and genuinely share my experiences with. He lead me to a prayer group and I was able to be transparent, receive prayer and also listen to others when they were transparent and I prayed for/with them. We continue to support one another through prayer even as we are on an assignment to pray for a nation.

• 

  Esther Ndubusi

  Member

  11/29/2022 at 03:51

  There are several reasons that keep us from opening up. Personally, I would say fear and lack of safety. Most times when we want to open up we want to be understood, heard, encouraged, and helped not criticized. We want to feel safe enough to share our problems and receive the right counsel. While sometimes we don't know how to open up (be vulnerable).

• 

  Esther Ndubusi

  Member

  11/29/2022 at 03:51

  There are several reasons that keep us from opening up. Personally, I would say fear and lack of safety. Most times when we want to open up we want to be understood, heard, encouraged, and helped not criticized. We want to feel safe enough to share our problems and receive the right counsel. While sometimes we don’t know how to open up (be vulnerable).

Log In to Reply