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Lesson OneIntroduction to SoulCare: Getting Started on the Journey3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson TwoThe First Task in Learning to Provide SoulCare: Knowing What You're After and What It Takes to Get There3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson ThreeA Personal Search: Beginning with an Inside Look3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson FourThe Concept of Ruling Passions: What Energy Carries You into the Life of Another3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson FiveBrokenness: The Key to Releasing the Power of SoulCare3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson SixThe Good and the Bad in the Human Soul: Self-Need vs. Soul-Thirst3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson SevenEntering the Battle for Another's Soul: The First Step3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson EightWisdom: A Roadmap for Entering the Soul Without Getting Lost3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson NineGetting into the Battle: Moving Below the Waterline from the Presenting Problem to the Story of the Soul3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson TenAgents of Growth: What SoulCare Can Do in Our Lives3 Activities1 Assessment
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Course Wrap-UpCourse Completion1 Activity1 Assessment
Participants 595
Discussion Questions
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Dr. Crabb talks about our tendency to keep relationships shallow using the image of “not turning our chairs toward one another.” Why is it so difficult for us to “turn our chairs”? In other words, why are we reluctant to let anyone really know us? As you think about your answer, consider these possible reasons: Don’t have time. Don’t want to get involved. Don’t care. Feel inadequate and awkward. Don’t know how to form deeper relationships. Not culturally acceptable. Explain several possible reasons (using your own or from the list above) and then give an example from your experience that demonstrates which reason most often keeps you from turning your chair towards others.
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– Feeling of inadequacy
– Not prepared to be committed to walk in deep with the person
– Lack of time
– Don’t know how to form deeper relationships
– Fear of messing things up further
– People become clingy & needy -
Because of my own feeling of inadequacy. because of trust issues. Fear that people may become too needy for time and attention.
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I am hesitant to turn my chair because then I will be face to face. This is vulnerable and I risk being fully known. Being fully known means that, the falsely declared (both by self and others) inadequate side of me will be exposed; in my story, shaded dark with brokenness, I risk being rejected even if only by the telling twitch of an eye. I have experienced good hearted people who lacked the maturity to accept me as a fellow image bearer, based on where my story landed on their “icky factor” scale. I fear rejection of my person and being- not culturally acceptable.
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Fear of being rejected or hurt keeps us from revealing our true selves to others. I often find that other people don’t know what to do with me if I share more deeply. We also feel inadequate when others share because we want to help them to feel good about ourselves.
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While we are really desperate to be known, we have come to this point in our lives with prior wounds from relationships. To reveal something about ourselves, to risk the rejection or ridicule that could come, to risk a repeat of the wounds that first scared and scarred us can easily hold us back from opening ourselves to another.
I grew up in a family that valued intellectual knowledge and self sufficiency. To admit that I don’t know or to admit that I need help or have deep needs flies in the face of how I was taught to live. At some level I know some wouldn’t understand my needs. Worse, some could laugh at me for being “dumb” or incompetent. If I just keep taking care of my self in an isolated way I can avoid that pain. The problem is that living in that self isolated way will also keep me from all the beautiful benefits that God intends in human community.