• Discussion Forum

  Dr. Crabb talks about our tendency to keep relationships shallow using the image of “not turning our chairs toward one another.” Why is it so difficult for us to “turn our chairs”? In other words, why are we reluctant to let anyone really know us? As you think about your answer, consider these possible reasons: Don’t have time. Don’t want to get involved. Don’t care. Feel inadequate and awkward. Don’t know how to form deeper relationships. Not culturally acceptable. Explain several possible reasons (using your own or from the list above) and then give an example from your experience that demonstrates which reason most often keeps you from turning your chair towards others.

  Kelly Morrison replied 1 week ago 208 Members · 215 Replies

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  Jillian Stone

  Member

  02/14/2022 at 12:48

  I tend to be an open book, allowing myself to be known but often disappointed because not too many people want to explore. That causes me to feel like I must not be an interesting person which then depresses me.

  On the other side, I do invest time in others to try to help them with their problems but sometimes feel like I’m talking to a wall which again causes me to feel like I have nothing important, wise or interesting to say.

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  Ronetta Nicholas

  Member

  02/14/2022 at 05:42

  I Have Never Been Close to People;Even Within The Church,I Generally Keep My Distance.I am of a Senior Age and Have Learned Through Social Media is Not to Have an Open Trust Towards Christians.I Have Been Judged and Condemned to Many Times by Christians.I Rather be Left Alone and Not Turn My Chair Towards Another.I Can However be Open to Listen In a Passionate Way Towards Another Person.

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  Elaine Chu

  Member

  02/09/2022 at 17:40

  I think life experience and culture play a part. There is a saying in my culture “A hedge between keeps friendship green”, there is certain respect of each other’s privacy to model gentlemen behaviour. It has taken me a long long time to be able to open up and only to a handful of selected friends. Another aspect is that being the older one among siblings, having to set role model, being in leadership role both at work as well as church and being a female are blockers for me to be vulernable.

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  Allan l. Cooper

  Member

  02/02/2022 at 13:08

  I’ve always had problems sharing with close loved ones. I gt ashamed and frightened of the outcome. I’ve opened to some special people but they “betrayed my trust”.
  Or I just thought it didn’t matter to them. I never really known, even my parents, to spend sharing moments with me, so I don’t really how it’s like. I’ve always considered myself distant to others because of who I thought or seen myself as. I am shy when it comes to sharing. I hold fear, doubt and distrust in other people.
  I always expect the worst outcome because this is what I grew up to. I was, also, taught to be a perfectionist, which I hate. So I had these characters developed in me which I, to this day, wish to remove from myself. It is a deep rooted problem which I desire to conquer.

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  Philip Gray

  Member

  01/31/2022 at 20:12

  For years it has been difficult to allow others to really know me. At times I felt inadequate, other times I felt guilty trying to hide my thoughts and sins. I do have two close friends who I have known for over 50 years and can share (and have over the years) anything. Time has tested us and there is no concern that what is shared between us will be shared with others.

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